Radiance

Some  nearly  six months  after the Border’s Bookstore experience  which  I wrote  about  earlier I noticed another peculiar phenomena which merits mention. Once again language will be a hindrance because this experience is at best may be described as having occurred within and also without me. This was no exotic location capable of inducing this event, there was no incense  burning,  no meditation,  not a temple or a  pleasant surrounding nearby which would be more conducive to a mystical experience. I was in my bathroom. There  was  nothing out of the ordinary about this evening, I had not consumed any alcohol or drugs of any persuasion and was just preparing myself for sleep. I looked in the mirror and it suddenly occurred to me that the I that would normally look from out  of  my eyes  where looking from a location outside my body. There was immediate awareness that this I that we normally attribute to our body was just as intimate on the outside. Both within and without of me. What I am maintaining here is that awareness was aware that it was looking from outside  the body. The  I  which  one  thinks  belongs  to the body  was  making observations from outside the self. The normal I which I believed to be contained within oneself became aware that it was beyond containment. That’s quite a lot information to take in at the time and I just sat on it. I had no reaction to it at all. Why did I not react act to it all? The only thing I could come up with was I had no point of reference.  I had nowhere to go with this experience. It was beyond analyzing, it was not logical;  it  was not  imagination  so  I  had nowhere to go with it using formal logic. So the whole experience just froze and remained somewhere inside of me. I could not jump and down, say oh! that’s weird. It just sat in some compartment waiting maybe to be processed at a later date. Some two days I had another experience doing exactly the same thing in the bathroom preparing   myself for bed when I observed the I looking from outside the body. This time around during the experience was much more profound. Whilst I stood there observing that I was looking from beyond the body the whole room was   filled with radiance. That was the only word that came to mind to describe the color at the time, radiance. The whole room had turned into a golden yellow glow. It was not an artificial light coming from somewhere but pervaded the entire room. I stood there for some time  probably  about  ten seconds examining this golden aura  that  had surrounded the room. I became alarmed for a moment and then calmness. I believe that the fear arose out of this momentary concern that my I was being swirled away never to return and  I  panicked.  The whole  event  lasting  some  thirty seconds and then everything returning to normal. In as much as this was a rather unusual experience, there was no real great desire to share the information with anyone. Not because I might have been wheeled away in a strait jacket or be disbelieved.  There was just no desire to convince anyone at all, no desire at all. There was a part of myself that recognized this experience or to be exact the golden color. That was it. 


Comparatively speaking the Border’s event and Bathroom event share an unusualness that of some psychic discharge in which awareness is attempting to turn around on itself. That is the only distinction that I can formulate at this stage without infecting my experience. Until further notice.